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A View of Michigan’s Economy Courtesy of The Onion

By: Gerald Prante

As the State of Michigan once again ponders raising taxA tax is a mandatory payment or charge collected by local, state, and national governments from individuals or businesses to cover the costs of general government services, goods, and activities. es, it is nice to see how the rest of the country views Michigan. In particular, here are a few takes from the satirical newspaper The Onion taking shots at the state’s economic woes. And everyone knows the best government policy during economic woes — raise taxes of course.

Thousands Lose Jobs As Michigan Unemployment Offices Close

LANSING, MI—In another devastating blow to the state’s already fragile economy, the Unemployment Insurance Agency of the state of Michigan permanently shuttered its nine branch offices Monday, leaving more than 8,500 unemployment employees unemployed.

Announcing the closings at a press conference, Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm called them “a tragic coda” to a once-vibrant industry that until this week defined the Michigan economy and served almost one-fifth of the state’s employable population.

Detroit Sold For Scrap

Detroit, a former industrial metropolis in southeastern Michigan with a population of just under 1 million, was sold at auction Tuesday to bulk scrap dealers and smelting foundries across the United States.

“This is what’s best for Detroit,” Mayor Kwame M. Kilpatrick said. “We must act now, while we can still get a little something for it.”


Abandoned Municipal Projects

Detroit Burned Down for the Insurance Money