Tax Humor

April 4, 2008

“Optimist: Someone who sets aside two hours to do his income tax return.”
—Author Unknown

“The present tax code is about 10 times longer than the Bible, a lot more complicated, and, unlike the Bible, contains no good news.”
—Don Nickles, former U.S. senator,

“Taxation without representation is tyranny. “
—A slogan of the Revolutionary War and the years before, attributed to James Otis, Boston lawyer and politician

“Taxation with representation ain’t so hot either.”
—Gerald Barzan

“I wouldn’t mind paying taxes—if I knew they were going to a friendly country.”
—Dick Gregory

If you drive a car, I’ll tax the street;
if you try to sit, I’ll tax your seat;
if you get too cold, I’ll tax the heat;
if you take a walk, I’ll tax your feet.
—The Beatles, “Taxman”

“Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven’t been taxed.”
—Art Buchwald

“Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.”
—F.J. Raymond

“There’s nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won’t cure.”
—Dan Bennett

A Lottery is a Taxation,
Upon all the Fools in Creation;
And Heav’n be prais’d,
It is easily rais’d,
Credulity’s always in Fashion;
For, Folly’s a Fund,
Will never lose Ground;
While Fools are so rife in the Nation.
—Henry Fielding, in 1732

“A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform.”
—Russell B. Long, former U.S. Senator

“Income tax returns: the most imaginative fiction written today. “
—Herman Wouk

“There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.”
—Author unknown

Indoors or out, no one relaxes
In March, that month of wind and taxes,
The wind will presently disappear,
The taxes last us all the year.
—Ogden Nash


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